a gift.

Busy as hell. As usual, I know. But thought I'll share a piece I painted for my Parents' 30th Anniversary. It was great fun to work on something personal and something, as it turned out, they liked a lot :) Hand painted in Photoshop CS4, it's actually a quick, unpolished work, but I like it that way.



Also it seems spring came. Kind of. Another year when it's cold as hell and I'm freezing all the time. But luckily I managed to have 3 days off in the woods with my friends and we even had some sun (the only sunny hours I seen last few weeks :/). We had lots of fun, spent one night sitting outside and another playing fun game inside (the one which was featured in Inglorious Basterds by Tarantino), sitting near fireplace. I forgot how much I needed such time and I miss it already.

By the way, some preview pieces from my Master's Degree coming soon, 'cause why not, some are ready since few months anyway. There'll be lots of geisha / japanese stuff there, I think I said a year ago or so that there'll be more coming ;)

Happy Christmas? And zombie apocalypse.

Happy Christmas to all of you :)

Here's a preview of recent 3 pieces I painted last two months on and off (meaning when I had some time after work and studies) for Taylor Holloway's "The Living Dead" story for Irregular Magazine, coming there soon (January, I think). I just wanted to share something new, as few people wondered if I'm still alive (although on deviantart, but I have no patience for writing journals there). Still not taking commissions though, it was just a favour for a very good, old friend :)

Anyway, it took me a long time to finish those (I'm still not sure if I won't touch them up a bit, though) and I learnt a lot during fighting with bits in it. I have many work in progress shots saved, but I need to organize it first a bit. Some refs used, though not very direct (mostly for hands, and quite a few various ones for backgrounds).

Photoshop CS4 - my first pics done in it and it rocks. Especially with Windows7 64bit, 6gb ram. First time ever I can paint on A3 file size, 300dpi, without having to wait for a single brush stroke to appear on screen, guessing how it will look in the end. Which directly reminds me that I recently managed to damage two hard disk drives during one week. Go, me. Well, kind of. One was working fine one day and the next day it was dead for no apparent reason. Which sucks a lot, because it was my disk at work and I have honestly no idea what went wrong with it.

But the second one was my backup drive with almost all my files archived since, like, 2005. And it's gone. Including many .psd files, work in progress shots not to mention just many random things, photos and music (my works) I had there. And no, I wasn't storing it all just in one place, I'm not that stupid, but I was just reinstalling system and formatting hard disk that day, so for few hours my backup drive was the only place I had those. And during this short time it fell down from the table. Ha. ha. ha. Bah. Anyway, luckily I still have some of those backed up on CDs and most of them in high-res with pencil sketches somewhere in my room, but well. It's a shame. I know I keep babbling how I hate my older pieces, but losing all of it is still a big sentimental loss for me. I'm waiting to learn how much would data recovery cost, but they said for that kind of damage (mechanical) it's a LOT of money. So for 99% it's lost for good. I just hope the second disk's recovery will be more managable, as it seems it's a digital failure.

As for some other news the current score of My Car versus Winter is 0:1. My car's battery is dead yet again. Every winter the same story (it has some failure since 7+ years I drive it, I have to change its battery every single year when the temperature drops down below -15 degrees). But right now with my 22km everyday route to work it's pretty irritating.

But well, Christmas is coming. Although I won't have much time to do anything special, I'm still happy I'll be able to cook something. I miss cooking. Sometimes I think I should actually start to share some recipes here. Not that I'm very good at it, but I certainly have some passion for it :) Just expect no salt or fat in it, I hate those. And for those just thinking to ask this question, yes, I like vinegar (even though this is not the origin of my silly nickname).

So, all the best to all of you who stopped by (and managed to read it up to this place)! And sorry for the long text, I guess I had the need to babble a bit ;)

master's degree

Done with it. Finally. Got 5+ for my thesis (which is like A+) and I guess it makes me an official art historian now (History of Art, Univeristy of Warsaw) whatever it means. One more left to do this year (this time master's in graphics in Łódź city). And I'm done with studies. I miss free weekends and feeling like I can have few days for myself without worrying about how much I still have left to do. It's been seven years since I could honestly say so without anything bothering me at the back of my head. And I miss having time for my own projects, which I didn't have at all for the last few years as well. Which makes me feel stuck for some reason, I've so many ideas and if I had more time I'd be a much happier person now with a gallery I'm not ashamed of for a change.

Anyway, I'm still too busy to finish anything proper. But I found my moleskine, which my dear friend, Hb, got me few years back (and I forgot where I put it) and had some fun doing more lineart oriented stuff. I fell in love with this sketchbook for some reason. Will be posting these very soon (I hope).

crap.

I'm done with two more of flower series. I think the daffodils one turned out pretty okay, can't say the same about dahlias. I mean I like the colours. I like the girl. I like all elements separately. But I don't like it as a whole. Maybe it's because it literally took me few hours, less than a day, from the very beginning to the end. And I really didn't think it over. So it sucks.

The daffodils one is going to be published as a tutorial in upcoming .PSD magazine (polish edition):


Anyway. I feel a bit crap about my online art galleries recently. It doesn't represent at all what I'm doing at the moment and seems like just some kiddie stuff. Definitely doesn't look as something I could call my portfolio or even art that seems mine. I've been thinking about deleting it all, but then again I hate when other people do this, so I guess I'll leave some. I can't publish yet what I'm fond of and don't have that much time to paint more personal pieces, so I guess it will take me some time to update it with more recent pieces, that feel more personal and are technically better.

So for a while if you think my gallery's crap and boring, believe me, I do agree with you.

As for other stuff, like health, well.. I keep fighting. It's not perfect. But I believe it goes in a good direction. Usually it's recently okay, with few minor breakdowns. I guess I just can't give up. And have faith it will all pass and be just fine. But most of it happens in my head and it's really hard to keep fighting with my own paranoid thoughts. I keep trying, though.

end of 2008

So, Christmas has passed. It's been really nice. Except for the funeral of my aunt just two days before it. I hope, wherever she is, she'll find peace. Honestly I've never been to a wedding (really, never in my life), but attended too many funerals of people I cared for. Sometimes I wonder if this is a reason I prefer darker themes when painting. Somehow light, heartful ones just don't speak to me and, actually, they never did.

Anyway. I started a series on scents of flowers. Maybe because I needed to draw something simple and pretty. Or maybe because I fell in love with few smells and got inspired by it? I've also been doing lots of painterly sketches last days, so it felt good to do something more stylised. Here's first one:

Close up:

Also I promised some close ups for my recent piece, Misery. So here it is for those interested:

Close up:

Only few days till 2009 begins. I look forward to it, it's been a bad year and it's good it's going to end. Well, maybe not that bad, but last half of it turned my life upside down. Health related problems and such. It's still not great, but I really hope it'll get better and I'll be back in full shape, feeling strong and all that. The worst thing is uncertainty, even when I feel good I'm just afraid if it won't get worse. I'm just scared to be scared. And, believe me, it sucks. God, how I wish I was 21-23 again, these were years I was perfectly fine.

I'm also starting a new job (as a proper concept artist this time, before I worked as a general gaming graphic artist, doing lots of pixel art too) and as much as I'm excited about it I'm also afraid how I'll manage with getting up really early (long commute), writing my master's degree essay (history of art), finishing second master's course in another town (graphics) and finding time to work on my personal projects. It's going to be hard, but maybe all these chores will help me get better and forget about, well, other things. I hope so.

Anyway, wishing you all a happy new year :)

carnival.

A preview of the pic painted for .PSD magazine (polish edition). Will be printed with a tutorial, tips etc. around February, I think.

As for some other stuff - my birthday has recently passed. Meaning I'm 25. So it's safe to say I left my teen days for good and can't pretend I'm not a proper adult anymore. Lesson learnt hard way. I even have some grey hair already, heh.. So, here's to growing up, not doing (too) dangerous things and hoping last year's events won't happen again. Cheers! :)